Ask Elizabeth: Can Gratitude Really Help Me Through Tough Times?

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino
May 30
2 min read

Q: I’ve heard a lot about gratitude practices, but I’m in a really tough season—grieving a loss, navigating burnout, and feeling overwhelmed. Can gratitude really help when life feels like this? Or is it just another way to pretend everything’s okay?

A: First, I want to say this: If you’re in the middle of something heavy, you are not alone. I’ve been there, too. And no—gratitude is not about pretending everything is okay. In fact, gratitude can be the lifeline that helps you stay connected to what is okay, even when so much isn’t.

Let me introduce you to something I teach in The Change Guidebook and live by every day: The Gratitude Flip.

It’s the intentional shift from “I have to” to “I get to.”

It doesn’t ask you to sugarcoat your pain. It doesn’t require toxic positivity or the silencing of real emotions. Instead, it invites you to reframe your experience just enough to access peace—even if it’s only for a moment.

Because those moments? They stack. They matter. And they shift everything.

Here’s what gratitude can really do in hard times:

1. It anchors you. Grief and stress can make you feel like you’re spinning. Gratitude brings you back to solid ground—not by denying your pain, but by reminding you that not everything is lost.

2. It helps you find meaning. Sometimes, what we’re grateful for shows us what matters most. A moment of appreciation for someone you’ve lost reminds you of the love that still lives in you.

3. It quiets comparison. When life gets tough, it’s easy to look around and feel behind. Gratitude interrupts that noise and says, “Let’s focus on what’s here and true, right now.”

4. It creates momentum. Gratitude isn’t a passive feeling—it’s an actionable practice. Even the tiniest “thank you” can change your tone, your next choice, your day.

Try This: A Gentle Gratitude Flip

The next time you think,“I have to…”Try saying instead,“I get to…”

✅ “I have to go to another appointment.” → “I get to care for my health.”

✅ “I have to clean up again.” → “I get to take care of a home I’m grateful for.”

✅ “I have to face another hard day.” → “I get to try again—with all I’ve learned.”

It’s not magic. But it is meaningful. And over time, these tiny flips become a way of life that sustains you—even through grief, burnout, or uncertainty.