Ask Elizabeth: “How do I stop comparing myself to everyone else?”

Dear Elizabeth,

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but I do it constantly—on social media, in conversations, even with strangers I pass on the street. I always end up feeling like I’m falling short. How do I stop?— Comparing in California

Dear Comparing,

First, take a breath. You’re not alone. Comparison is a habit so many of us fall into, especially in a world curated for likes and filters.

Here’s what I’ve learned: comparison is often a thief of peace—but it can also be a compass. It reveals what we value, what we feel we’re missing, or what we’ve been taught to believe is “better.” But here’s the truth no one told you—your path isn’t supposed to look like anyone else’s.

Try this:

1. Unfollow to unburden. If a page or person consistently makes you feel “less than,” it’s okay to mute or unfollow. Curate your space with people and content that uplift you.

   
   

2. Flip the thought. The next time you think, “They’re so ahead,” try, “Good for them. I’m making progress in my own way.” You’re not behind—you’re on your path.

   
   

3. Celebrate your wins—out loud. Keep a success journal and write down your daily accomplishments, no matter how small. Validation starts within.

   
   

4. Remember: highlights aren’t whole stories. What we see online (or in others' lives) is often a highlight reel. Real life includes mess, missteps, and moments you don’t post.

   
   

You are not behind. You are not too late. You are not failing. You are evolving in real time. And that is more than enough.

With love,

Elizabeth