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AUDIO VERSION
Happy You Year!
It's a perfect time to change things up! In my coaching practice, especially this time of year people often approach me for advice on change and success. Those are probably the two most common areas where people request help.
So what can you do to change and have it stick for real and how can you find success in all areas of your life?
I believe the key to your Best Ever You and your best success, rests strongly with the word ALIGN and a few others, like heart, truths, and energy to play along nicely and more so, I believe it is all rooted in GRATITUDE.
You can manifest it and achieve it, if you align your mind, heart, and energy and take the right actions for success! You know, that old saying, "You've got to believe it to achieve it!" - we'll we're going to put another spin on it and add energy and actions, as you must take action steps to achieve it! You can't sit around and just wish for it. You've got to work for it.
As one client, who had their dream come true of becoming a D1 athlete, put it, "Everything just aligned. I could see, hear, and feel my success. it just clicked. The work didn't stop, I worked for it for sure, and my mind, heart, energy and actions were all in sync. I understand this process now and can apply it to all areas of my life."
I love that. That's what it's all about!
So how do we do this?
I believe there are four secrets to becoming your best ever you.
1. Allow for Change
2. Anchor in Your Power
3. Root in Gratitude
4. Think With Your Heart.
Let's talk about each one:
1. Allow for Change
What is your relationship with change? Most people are terrified of it or fear it to the extent of being paralyzed by it. Others love it and can't want for things to never stay the same even for a moment. While those are extremes to illustrate the point, it can be a very emotionally charged and unsettling topic.
The fact is, most of us are navigating and sifting through naysayers and circumstances, feeling like we're being held back within areas of life needing attention like health, relationships, money, location, abilities, opportunities, mindset and more. The choppy waters of change oscillate between risk vs. reward. In other words, you question yourself by saying things like, "If I make this change, will it be worth it?" When we can't see exactly what will happen, fear and uncertainty creep in and we may stay stuck.
In The Change Guidebook, readers are met in that moment of uncertainty or fear with a process for learning how change works. The book contains a ten-point plan for navigating change, whether you ask for it or not. It starts with a free assessment and guides the user through making the change or working with an unexpected circumstance.
I encourage you to have a heart-to-heart with yourself to get to know your attitude about change. The more you learn about the topic, the easier it becomes to deal with life when things come up. Knowing how to navigate change is a great tool for your best life toolbox.
As you become more comfortable with change, you understand that more often than not, you have to get uncomfortable to change and grow. As you push out of that comfort zone, you allow for your best, growth mindset to appear and take hold, rather than a closed mindset that may be fear based.
Heart-to-Heart with Yourself
With an open-mind and open-heart, let's start to visualize and answer some questions. You may even grab your journal. Now's a great time to write out the answers for these questions.
1) What's my story?
2) What do I want?
3) How am I in each area of my life?
4) Do I feel stuck?
5) Am I open to change?
6) Am I open to changing my story and moving forward?
7) What's my relationship with change?
2. Anchor in Your Power
What is your self-confidence like? Are you empowered? How are you with self-love, self-worth and do you value yourself or devalue yourself? Who holds your power?
The truth is, most of us, in many moments, lack confidence, don't feel empowered, don't trust ourselves, second-guess ourselves and just flat out feel powerless. It's sad, but true. From terrible bosses, to bad marriages, to not being selected for something, to being turned down, to just not knowing what is going to help you be successful and more, we can feel less than.
Well, it's time to change that up and secure ourselves by anchoring in our power.
I know you've had a moment in your life where you feel completely in control and things went so well! It's time to root in those moments, remember them and anchor them within, so in these difficult moments or situations, you can draw upon that experience to find even that faintest amount of hope, faith, power or whatever higher vibrational energy you need.
In my coaching and coaching certification courses, I joke, in somewhat of a serious way, when I say there are two things you need to protect yourself from those who underestimate you: Ear plugs and Bubble wrap.
I think most of us could use, as standard issue, a set of ear plugs and a roll of bubble wrap. Why? Well, because of naysayers, that's why. You know those people who don't have your best interests at heart and fight your change or forward momentum and feel like a parachute on your dragster.
I can remember years ago in 2008 when I first started BestEverYou.com and someone I thought had my best interests at heart told me I'd never have success and was a 40-something washed up soccer mom! I said, "Our kids don't even play soccer!" and hung up the phone and doubled-down on my dreams by registering the domain for 5 more years.
I've seen it over and over again, with people seeking help for change and success and complaining that they are running into those brick naysayer walls. Take another path and remember: They may doubt you, it may have never been done before that they've seen or know, they may be jealous, competing with you and not want your success before their own and so many factors. People react all sorts of different ways with respect to ambition and ambitious, succeeding people. The version of you that they know, may have changed, and they aren't fully on board and may never be, so be careful. Find a new route.
YOU CAN
It is extremely important to develop your own confidence and strength within. If you feel unsure of yourself, find someone who believes in you more than you believe in you at that moment and can mentor you. If you've got a lofty goal and it's work and action, blood, sweat and tears to get there, remember to remove those naysayers, purchase ear plugs, bubble wrap and get going to be your Best Ever You. Who says you can't? or flip it to a steady diet of telling yourself "I Can" and with hard work, focus, consistency, determination, networking, actions, dedication and all the positive energy behind you, you will succeed.
Boundaries take care of boundary jumpers. If you are people pleasing and allowing people to say whatever they want to you, you may need to put up some boundaries and even change up who is around you. Are the five to ten people closest to you supporting your dreams and goals?
One Word for the Year
Every year here on The Best Ever You Network, I ask individuals in our community to pick a word to guide you for the year. It replaces the process of resolutions. In my years of coaching, I've found people, through their year, can come back easily to this one word and create an intentional practice of centering around that word with action.
Here are some ideas: Peace, Consistency, Joy, Resilience, Wealth, Health, Family, Intentional and so many more. If you need help selecting a word, choose a word, you'd like MORE of. You might even choose three words and narrow it down from there.
Heart-to-Heart with Yourself
With an open-mind and open-heart, let's start to visualize and answer some questions. You may even grab your journal. Now's a great time to write out the answers for these questions.
What's my one word for 2023 to anchor in my power?
Do I allow others to influence what I say and do?
Do I have people around me closest to me who know my dreams and goals and support me and them?
Do I need to change who is around me?
Do I need better boundaries?
Think of some affirmations here to repeat daily to help you anchor in your power.
I am _________.
I will _________.
I create ________.
3. Root in Gratitude
Are you grateful? What's your gratitude practice like? My goal is for you to practice gratitude so much it becomes part of you as a person, like gratitude on auto-pilot.
When we realize we aren't entitled to time, we realize that every single moment of our life matters. When we realize that every single moment of our life matters, we realize that there's not much time for negative anything and instead frame things with gratitude. This means that even if those darkest, desperate moments, there is something to be grateful for and to hold sight of that.
I developed this practice in 2004-2005. To that point, I had glimpses of it and used gratitude here and there, but it became a full-on part of me during the years when my dad had his first stroke. I wrote all about it in my Hay House book PERCOLATE - Let Your Best Self Filter Through. I think the moment where I really realized how precious life is and how much positive thinking and gratitude matter, is that moment with my dad in the rehab facility. In this terrible moment of not knowing whether he was ever going to talk again, the nurse said she was going to assess him by using an ABC Test. She was to say the letter and he was to say what word came to mind. She reminded me and my mom that most people are incapable of speech following a stroke of this magnitude. Well, when she said "A" and he said "aardvark".
A strange word, but it was something. Then for each letter of the alphabet, he used a positive energy word: Benevolence, Courage, Determination, Excellence, and more. F was a swear word that I've since changed to Faith. I heard the word Gratitude and P was Platypus, which is why I encourage everyone to "Find their inner Aardvark and Platypus." It was an incredible moment and where I began my practice of rooting in gratitude and became the basis for my first book about the topic of change.
The Gratitude Flip
Like my dad turned that situation into incredible positive energy, it's important when things come up that are issues, a challenge, or negative we learn how to find perspective. I love to teach my clients the "gratitude flip". When those moments come up that are challenging or less than great, you flip it around and find something to be grateful for. You may remove yourself from the situation for a period of time and come back to it with a fresh perspective. But in the moment, you practice gratitude.
Here's an example: You are ready for work. You go outside or in your garage and see a flat tire. You have a choice in that moment of how to react and respond. Some may fly off the handle for a variety of reasons. A different way to respond is, "Ok I've got a flat tire. In this moment, the Universe wants something else for me. I'm grateful this didn't happen on the highway. I'm grateful I am safe. I'm grateful this can be fixed."
When my mom and I were having a very bad day with my dad in ICU, we removed ourselves and went to Kohl's for sweaters. We went back to the hospital with them tied around our necks like superhero capes.
Gratitude brings strength. May gratitude guide you.
Heart-To-Heart with Yourself
With an open-mind and open-heart, let's start to visualize and answer some questions. You may even grab your journal. Now's a great time to write out the answers for these questions.
Do I see things positively?
Does gratitude guide me?
How do I spend my time in the course of an average day?
Do I maintain a positive perspective?
Do I put grateful energy out into the Universe?
4. Think With Your Heart
Do you tend to overthink things? When you make decisions do they come from your heart? I love to help people frame it with heart-based thinking. This means you are moving from your head to your heart and making decisions that align with your heart, truths, and energy. You are the Chief Executive Officer, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Compliance Officer and everything other officer - of your life. When you think with your heart, you shift to thinking with intention, purpose and mindfulness on a higher level that aligns. You no longer ignore your intuition and you make decisions and choices that are from your unique, authentic you. Your behavior, choices, decisions, actions, energy and being align.
It's time to stop being who others want you to be or who you think others want you to be and show up your best, authentic you. The world needs more of authentic you and not fake you or any other version of you. Be Yourself.
The thing about showing up as yourself that people don't often talk about is that often we don't even like ourselves and we feel stuck. I like to combine those into one issue rather than separate them out for this topic of thinking with your heart.
Your heart knows. Are you listening to it? When it speaks are you tuning in and listen to it and aligning your truths, energy and actions with it? If you have a calling to do something, are you doing it or are you ignoring it with that sea of choppy fear and circumstance with no clear outcome or worth?
We've got to give ourselves permission to grow. We've got to let go of limiting beliefs.
When you feel stuck, refer to #1 above and allow for change and follow this process 1-4 to become unstuck. It works!
What comes from it is your INCREDIBLE YES. This is a moment where you said yes to someone or something and it changed your life. Most of us have at least one of these. It can be a change your story- a leap of faith moment or it can be a small adjustment you made. These moments help us align to follow our heart, truths and energy as we are faced with more choices and decisions.
When you have these moments, I teach my clients six questions to ask themselves so they think with their hearts and align.
Six Best Ever You Principles and Six Questions to Ask Yourself
Core of You - Is this in line with the essence of who I am?
Art of You - Does this celebrate my unique gifts and talents?
Heart of You- Do I take responsibility for my emotions, actions and behavior?
Humanity of You - How does this impact others around me and the world as a whole?
Sport of You - Does this moment or action contribute to my longevity and health?
Spirit of You - Is my mind at peace and my spirit content?
Heart-To-Heart with Yourself
With an open-mind and open-heart, let's start to visualize and answer some questions. You may even grab your journal. Now's a great time to write out the answers for these questions.
1. Am I an overthinker?
2. Do I process my emotions?
3. Am I feeling stressed or joy? Why?
4. What am I saying to myself?
5. What am I feeling?
Happy You Year, to remind you to take a serious look around at who is helping you achieve your dreams and goals. If they aren't the right people, it's time for change, change of scenery, route, plan or a life coach or something around you who can see it from a different vantage point. You may even process through a few people to get to the ones who support and believe in you and your goals and dreams. Believe in Yourself and May Gratitude Guide You.
Happy You Year, ear plugs, bubble wrap and all!
Love,
Elizabeth
About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino
Since 2008, as the Founder of Best Ever You, Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino has been helping people be their best and find success. She is a Master Life Coach and author of multiple books on the topic of change, success and peace, including the bestsellers, The Change Guidebook - How To Align Your Heart, Truths, and Energy to Find Success in All Areas of Your Life and PERCOLATE - Let Your Best Self Filter Through.
The Best Ever You Network provides personal and professional development in multi-media format and has grown into a brand with more than one million followers on verified social media platforms and millions of radio listens and downloads on The Best Ever You Show. Her hashtags, #BestEverYou, #TipstoBeYourBest are widely circulated.