Ask Elizabeth: Why Do I Feel Calm One Day and Anxious the Next?

Dear Elizabeth,

Some days I feel really grounded—like I’ve finally found some sense of peace. And then out of nowhere, the next day I wake up anxious, irritated, or just off for no clear reason. It’s like I go from calm to chaotic in 24 hours without anything major happening. I’ve started to feel frustrated with myself. Why can’t I hold on to peace for more than a day or two?– Emotionally Whiplashed

Dear Emotionally Whiplashed,

What you’re describing is something I hear more often than you might think. In fact, it’s one of the most common frustrations for people actively trying to live more peacefully or intentionally. You’re doing the work—practicing calm, creating space, maybe even meditating or journaling—and still, you wake up feeling off. Suddenly, everything feels tight, noisy, or just heavy again.

Here’s the truth that most people never say out loud: Peace is not a destination. It’s a state you return to—again and again.

Emotional Whiplash Is Real—and Normal

First, let’s normalize this experience. Your nervous system is constantly adjusting to your internal and external environments—even when life seems “fine” on the surface. Things like poor sleep, too much screen time, a difficult interaction, or even changes in the weather or your hormones can throw you off without warning.

But more than that, we often underestimate the emotional residue we carry from one day to the next. Just because something didn’t seem like a big deal doesn’t mean it didn’t land in your system.

And sometimes, nothing happened externally—but internally, your body is simply asking for your attention.

That doesn’t make you inconsistent. It makes you human.

Why You Can’t “Lock In” Peace

Let’s be honest: we love the idea of arriving at peace and never leaving. We want to earn it like a degree and be done.

But peace doesn’t work that way.

Peace is more like hydration. You don’t drink water once and never need it again. You return to it, replenish it, and recognize when you’re thirsty. It’s the same with calm, presence, and emotional steadiness.

You didn’t “lose” your peace. It just needs to be re-accessed—especially in a world that’s constantly pulling you out of yourself.

What To Do When You Wake Up Anxious or “Off”

Instead of trying to fix how you feel or get back to yesterday’s version of yourself, try this:

🔹 1. Don’t make it mean something’s wrong with you.

Your emotional state isn’t a moral failure. Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re broken, undisciplined, or back at square one. It just means something inside you is asking to be seen.

🔹 2. Get curious, not judgmental.

Ask yourself:

• Did I skip something that grounds me?

• Am I carrying something emotionally that I didn’t address?

• Did something or someone deplete me yesterday, even if I brushed it off?

Even if you can’t find a clear cause, the act of asking with kindness can shift your energy.

🔹 3. Return to your anchors.

On the days that feel harder, simplify. Return to the habits and tools that support you the most—even if it’s just:

• Stepping outside for a moment of fresh air

• Putting your phone down for 30 minutes

• Drinking water before diving into the day

• Writing a few lines about what you’re feeling without trying to solve it

Peace builds through repetition. Every time you return, you’re strengthening your baseline—even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

Stop Holding Yourself Emotionally Hostage

We’ve been taught that peace is a reward—something we “earn” when we’ve done all the right things. So when it disappears, we assume we’ve failed or done something wrong.

Let that go.

Peace isn’t a prize for being good. It’s a resource you build a relationship with.

Your job is not to hold onto peace forever. Your job is to notice when it drifts—and gently invite it back in.

The more grace you give yourself in the “off” moments, the easier it becomes to recover and recalibrate.

If you’re feeling like you keep “starting over” every time you have a rough day, I want you to know: you’re not starting over. You’re continuing—with deeper awareness and compassion.

You are not your bad day. You are not your anxious moment. You are someone who is learning to meet yourself where you are—and that is the most peaceful thing you can do.

With steady encouragement,

Elizabeth

About Elizabeth:

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino is a bestselling author, master life coach, and founder of The Best Ever You Network. With a passion for helping people navigate change and cultivate peace, she’s known for blending heart, humor, and real-life wisdom. As the author of The Change Guidebook, The Success Guidebook, and co-author of The Peace Guidebook, Elizabeth is dedicated to helping others live authentically, lead with compassion, and rise with purpose. She lives between Maine and South Carolina with her husband, Peter, and is the proud mom of four grown sons.