Updated: Sep 20
What's cooking? Here is one of my favorite recipes: Be Your Best Ever You
Allergy Alert: This product was not manufactured in a facility with any fear, jealousy or doubt.
Step 1. Stop thinking everyone else has it better.
You know it when you think it: "They drive a cleaner car, have more cash in the bank, have a bigger shoe collection, a better job, a book deal, a better body, a new baby," or whatever else you think you see or assume is true of someone else's life. Everyone’s life appears to be perfect with the exception of yours. Upon closer inspection, you’ll discover that no one's life is perfect and for every cleanest, best-waxed car ever there is a crumb somewhere else. Focus on your own life and world and evaluate ONLY how you are doing in this life of yours.
Step 2. Moments Matter
How are you using your precious time? Are you in the present moment or are you in some future moment of worry or some past moment of regret? Nothing is worse than missing a moment. Think of the parent on the ever-so-important phone call or sitting at the computer as their child is trying desperately to grab a moment of their real presence and attention. Think of the moments you wish you could steal back and replay with your parent or parents who have now passed. Think of the moments you wish you could bring back when your kids were younger. Make the moment your priority.
3. Examine Your Positive Self
When you look in the mirror, what do you say? When you are in a room are full of people, what are you thinking? If you are spewing venom on yourself and killing your self-esteem, reach for the antidote. It's the power of positive thinking. Inject yourself with powerful positive language. Use thoughts like: "I am beautiful," "I am loved," "I accept myself," and “I am worthy.”
4. Discover Your Values and Create a Value System for Yourself
As we age, as the values we were raised with may not be the values we grow into. Our lives and our value systems are dynamic and can change. What values do you have that direct your big picture decisions? If someone gave you a limited life expectancy, what would you change? What do you want your family and friends to remember about you? If our values are not aligned with our actions and lifestyle, asking questions like these can redirect us and bring new awareness.
5. Practice Wellness
How well are you taking care of yourself? Do you feel fit? Are you eating well? Are you exercising? Are you stepping into your closet and having a cringe-factor moment where nothing fits? Practicing wellness may be part of a new value system you implement for yourself. Wellness is an overall way of choosing to live. It's finding a way for yourself where the internal critical and worrying voice(s) quiet. It’s practicing wellness habits that help you feel your best each day.
6. Discover the Power of We and Us
We think you are amazing and awesome in every way, but life is not all about you. It's about all of us—together. Ask someone today, "How can I help you?" You'll be amazed at the responses.
Ask yourself: How often do you do something for others just because you want to—not because it’s expected? Do you do things for others and expect nothing in return? Do you turn off that voice that nags at you when you did something for someone, but they did nothing for you in return?
7. Failure and Pain are Teaching Moments
How many times have you stopped yourself from trying something because you were afraid you wouldn't be good enough? We learn from failure and disappointment. When we pass through a crisis that brings fear and anxiety, sadness or other strong emotions, we eventually realize that we can learn something about being our best self from the experience. The sooner we quietly assess a situation from a place of strength, the sooner we make the best choices for our lives.
8. Laugh at Yourself
Have you laughed at yourself today? If you stop and think about how funny life can be, you’ll remember that we are each our own stand-up comedy routine. Sometimes there is even humor in the darkest of moments and sometimes that humor guides us to see the brightest days. Laugh at yourself. We all do some of the silliest things.
9. Make Small Lasting Changes
Take one thing – a thought, an idea, a value, or a belief – and make that one thing a focal point. Allow yourself ten minutes each day in silence to write, think, or ponder whatever thoughts come up around this one thought or idea. It’s amazing how just one small change can have an everlasting ripple effect leading to bigger changes.
10. Find Your Best, Most Peaceful You
Peace rests within your heart. When your heart speaks, it is very important to tune in and listen. It’s your own internal peace guidance system. Find what makes you peaceful. Just be YOU. No one can take you away from you. We are each unique with our own special talents and gifts. Discover, love, and appreciate who you are. What is your own personal Who? What? Where? When? and Why?
11. Surround Yourself with Love
Side-step naysayers. Naysayers are people who make fun of you or try to stop you from making changes or who want you to give up. They may not even know how they are sabotaging your efforts because they are out of touch with their own struggles. They’re often people who are trying to break the cycle themselves or have yet to acknowledge their habits. Breaking free from their influence can be difficult, but the only cook who needs to be in the kitchen is you.
Your favorite family recipes are passed from generation to generation. The recipe cards are tattered, torn or sometimes so secret they are memorized. Excellent recipes remain with us and feed our mind, body and spirit. To learn more about creating your best life, see my book, Percolate.
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About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino
Elizabeth is the Chief Executive Officer of Compliance4 and creator of The Best Ever You Network. Elizabeth is the author of the best-selling, award-winning, personal development book PERCOLATE - Let Your Best Self Filter Through (Hay House) and children’s books as a contributor and author. Elizabeth and her husband, Peter R. Guarino and four sons live in Maine.