Ask Elizabeth: “Am I Too Much? Or Are They Not Enough?”

Dear Elizabeth,

I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive,” “too intense,” or “too much.” But I also feel unseen and underappreciated. How do I know if the problem is me—or if I’ve just been choosing people who don’t truly value me?

– Feeling Too Much

Dear Feeling Too Much,

Let me tell you something that might change everything:You are not too much. You are too much for the wrong people.

Being “too much” is often code for “you feel deeply,” “you care fully,” “you express honestly,” or “you want more than surface-level connection.” That’s not a flaw. That’s depth. That’s courage. That’s life-force.

The real question isn’t “Am I too much?”The real question is: “Why have I been choosing spaces, people, or partners that can’t hold me?”

We are taught to shrink ourselves—to tone it down, numb it out, keep it easy so we’re easier to love. But here’s the truth: You weren’t born to be bite-sized.

You were born to be seen, heard, valued, and met.

If you feel unseen or unappreciated, that’s not your cue to dim the light. It’s your cue to change the room.

You deserve relationships where your sensitivity is a strength, not a strike against you. Where your passion is welcome, not a liability. Where your presence is cherished, not tolerated.

So no, you’re not too much.

But maybe it’s time to stop asking people to stretch to love you—and start choosing people who are already the right shape for your soul.

With love,

Elizabeth

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino is a master life coach, bestselling author of The Change Guidebook and The Success Guidebook, and the founder of The Best Ever You Network. Through her books, coaching, and podcast, she helps people embrace their worth, navigate change, and live their best, most peaceful lives.

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