Peace Is a Practice, Not a Destination: My Visit to WCCO CBS Minnesota

This week, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit WCCO CBS Minnesota and talk about The Peace Guidebook. Being there was especially meaningful to me because Minnesota is where I was born, where my mom and so much of my family live, and where my own story began.

The timing of this interview also made it much more personal than I ever could have anticipated.

When this appearance was originally scheduled, I thought I knew what I would be talking about. Peace. Stress. Gratitude. Hope. Grief. Kindness. How to focus on what we can control. How to pause before reacting. How to breathe and choose our response.

Then life happened.

On August 7, my mom's home in Lakeville, Minnesota caught fire. My mom and my uncle escaped by crawling to safety in their pajamas and bare feet. The house is a total loss. Everything is gone. My mom is bruised and her hair was singed as she crawled out of the burning house.

Suddenly, I wasn't returning to Minnesota simply for television appearances and The Peace Guidebook tour. I was coming home to be with my mom and our family.

My family was absolutely insistent that I continue with the appearances and book signings that had already been scheduled. So I did.

And maybe there couldn't have been a more meaningful time to talk about peace.

A Little Kindness Before the Cameras Even Rolled

When I arrived at WCCO, I was nervous. I've done a lot of interviews over the years, but sometimes life catches up with you. I was carrying everything that had happened during the previous days while also trying to prepare myself to walk onto a television set and talk about peace.

Then I met Frank Vascellaro in the green room.

Frank could not have been kinder. He took the time to talk with me, made me feel welcome, and completely calmed my nerves before I went on set.

It wasn't some enormous gesture.

It was simply one human being being kind to another human being.

And it changed my entire moment.

I couldn't help but think about how sometimes the very message you're about to talk about shows up for you before you ever get the chance to say it.

Kindness matters.

(WCCO news segment)

Peace Is a Practice, Not a Destination

I then had the opportunity to sit down with Amelia Santaniello and Erin Hassanzadeh to talk about The Peace Guidebook.

WCCO titled the segment, "Peace is a practice, not a destination."

I love that.

Because that's exactly what Dr. Katie Eastman and I want people to understand.

Peace isn't somewhere we finally arrive when we've solved every problem, eliminated every stressor, healed every hurt, or gotten everyone around us to behave exactly the way we'd like them to.

If that's what we're waiting for, we may be waiting forever.

Peace is something we practice right in the middle of our actual lives.

Especially when life isn't peaceful.

Pause. Breathe. Choose.

One of the practices we talk about in The Peace Guidebook is very simple:

Pause. Breathe. Choose.

Pause before you react.

Breathe and give your nervous system an opportunity to settle.

Then choose.

Choose where you're going to place your attention. Choose what you can control. Choose your next action. Choose your words. Choose how you want to respond. Choose kindness. Choose compassion. Choose peace.

That doesn't mean we always get it right.

Peace isn't perfection.

It's practice.

And sometimes the pause is only a few seconds. Sometimes it's stepping away from an email before hitting send. Sometimes it's taking a walk before continuing a difficult conversation. Sometimes it's simply asking yourself, "What can I control right now?"

There is so much in life that we cannot control.

But we can decide what we bring to the next moment.

We Are Not Entitled to Time

I've said for years that we are not entitled to time.

Those words have an entirely different weight for me right now.

We aren't promised another conversation. Another dinner. Another phone call. Another ordinary Tuesday with someone we love.

So why do we wait?

Why do we wait to tell people we love them?

Why do we wait to say thank you?

Why do we sometimes spend more time pointing out what's wrong with people than appreciating what's right about them?

Gratitude is a perspective.

You can go through life noticing everything that's wrong, or you can choose to notice what's right.

That doesn't mean ignoring pain. It doesn't mean pretending difficult things aren't happening. It doesn't mean excusing behavior that shouldn't be excused.

It means understanding that even when something is terribly wrong, there can still be something worth appreciating.

People.

Love.

Friendship.

Help.

Kindness.

Another day.

Another conversation.

Another chance to say, "I love you."

We are not entitled to time.

Use it well.

You Don't Know What Someone Is Going Through

This has become one of the biggest reminders for me throughout these past several days.

We have absolutely no idea what another human being may be going through.

We're not walking around wearing T-shirts explaining our lives.

Mine doesn't say, "My mom's house just burned down."

Someone else's doesn't say, "I'm grieving."

Or, "I'm scared."

Or, "I'm taking care of someone I love."

Or, "I'm overwhelmed."

Or simply, "Today is really hard."

We encounter people every day without knowing what happened to them five minutes ago, five days ago, or five months ago.

So maybe we give each other a little more grace.

Maybe we're a little more patient.

Maybe we judge a little less.

Maybe we don't send the angry response quite so quickly.

Maybe we ask someone how they're doing and actually listen to the answer.

People shouldn't have to prove they're hurting before we treat them gently.

And Then There Was One More Conversation

After the interview ended, I left the studio and headed outside to meet my Uber driver.

On my way out, I happened to bump into WCCO station manager Ann Ouellette.

We started talking and ended up having such a great conversation as I walked out to my Uber.

It was an unexpected and lovely ending to the afternoon.

And as I left WCCO, I found myself thinking about the entire experience.

I had gone there to talk about peace.

But I left thinking about kindness.

Frank offered it before I ever stepped onto the set.

Amelia and created the space for a meaningful conversation.

Ann offered it through an unexpected conversation as I was leaving.

None of these moments were complicated or grand.

They were simply human.

And maybe that's exactly how peace spreads.

One interaction.

One conversation.

One choice at a time.

We are not entitled to time.

So while we're here, let's use some of ours to make another person's day a little easier, a little kinder, and a little more peaceful.

You don't know what someone's T-shirt would say.

You shouldn't have to.

Be kind anyway.

Pause. Breathe. Choose.

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino is the co-author, with Dr. Katie Eastman, of The Peace Guidebook. Together, they encourage people to make peace a daily practice through presence, compassion, resilience, kindness, and intentional choice.