Ask Elizabeth: How Do We Create a Morning Routine as a Married Couple?

Dear Elizabeth,

My spouse and I love each other, but our mornings are chaos. Between getting kids out the door, rushing for work, and juggling everything else, we often start the day stressed, short-tempered, and disconnected. We’d really like to find a better rhythm—something that helps us feel like a team instead of two ships passing in the morning rush. Do you have any advice for creating a morning routine we can share as a couple?

— Married, But Missing Our Mornings

Dear Married Couple,

What a wonderful question! Mornings set the tone not just for your day, but for your relationship. When you and your spouse feel connected and supported in the morning, it carries into the rest of your day. And the best part? A married morning routine doesn’t have to be complicated, it just needs to be intentional.

Here are a few ideas to help you start your mornings with more connection and peace:

Wake Up Together (Even Briefly)

Even if one of you gets up earlier, try to spend a few minutes waking up side by side. A hug, a shared smile, or even just lying quietly together can create a sense of closeness before the day begins.

Share a Ritual

Pick one small ritual you both enjoy—coffee on the porch, listening to a song, or reading a daily reflection. It doesn’t have to take more than 5 minutes, but it reminds you: we’re in this together.

Check In Before You Check Out

Before diving into emails or the day’s demands, ask each other: What’s one thing you need from me today? This keeps you connected and shows you’re each other’s first priority.

Divide & Conquer With Kindness

If mornings involve kids, pets, or house chaos, agree on who does what ahead of time. That way, you’re working as a team instead of reacting in frustration.

End With Affection

Never underestimate the power of a goodbye kiss, hug, or “I love you.” Those little acts create lasting feelings of safety, warmth, and partnership.

Elizabeth’s Reminder: Marriage thrives on daily deposits of love and attention. By building even a tiny routine together in the morning, you create a foundation of teamwork, peace, and connection that carries you both through the rest of the day.

With love and gratitude,

Elizabeth